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“The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it.” — Allison in Yes Man
Last week, I finally got to see Yes Man, the romantic comedy starring Jim Carrey. I remember the hulabaloo around the coaching community when this movie came out, praising it for the message it sent: say Yes to everything! Yes to party invites from the nerdy boss! Yes to mail-order wives! Yes to giving homeless men rides to deserted parks at night! Personal safety aside, I know that the overall message resonated with a lot of people. While I'm still someone who's learning how to say “No” – without feeling like I'm disappointing the world/being an asshole – what I got from the movie is to say “Yes” to something new: to expand your horizons, meet new people, do something scary.
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In December of 2006 I was dating my now-husband, Luke, for almost a year, & we were living together, & things were both hunky & dorey. But while I was in this amazing relationship, and at a “grown-up, non-sales, getting-my-full-paycheck-all-the-time job, my 9-6 or 7 or 8 job” that, at the time, I liked despite my “condescending micro-manager” of a boss (who would eventually get so condescending & so micro-managing that I I once dry heaved into the trash at the Union Sq subway station on my way to work, only to feel fine the second I was on the train heading home).
The confusion I felt was in regards to acting — my passion, my dream since I was an Annie wannabee. Here's what I wrote:
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I feel my acting stuff just sorta slipping away. I still have the desire and the need to do it – if I didn't I wouldn't be upset about it — but I lost the optimism and the spark. I don't feel jaded, per se — just worn out and tired of all this. I'm tired of chugging along, of the highs that don't materialize and the lows that are just crushing. I feel like I'm not making headway, that I've never made headway. OK, maybe I am just a bit jaded.
But then it comes back around to the other part of what I need and what I want, which is a relationship that's not strained by me being away, which is something more than a load of temp jobs, which is paying off my debts (even if it's a little at a time) and being financially stable, and having a social life in NYC. And while I'm itching to be on stage again, I don't want to give up the other pieces of what I need.
So do ya think that you can cook your passions into one big pot & make a career? Do all of your hobbies need to be money-makers, or is there something that you can do just for the love of it? If you're missing something in your life, like more exercise, is there a way to do it so that it doesn't feel like a chore? Think outside the box & see where your imagination takes you — the more ridiculous the better. Take your inspiration from Allison & her songs about late-night booty calls. Or pick up Career Renegades by Jonathan Fields & read about people like Ann Rea, an office drone who was determined to leave her depressing job to be a painter but didn't want to give up her lifestyle. Living in the Napa Valley, she looked around, opened her eyes, & realized she could partner up with wineries to paint their vineyards, & then sell her works in their gift shop. Not only did she get a guaranteed sale for each painting she painted, but it lead to private commissions, large-scale commission work, displays, notecards, & wine bottle labels!
That spring, I enrolled in the Career Change Workshop at NYU. That summer, I enrolled at ICA to be a life coach. I found my way, but I can't help wondering how I really got here. I think it consisted of:
- being tired.Let's face it, I was worn out, beat down, & “jaded”. I lost my spirit & I wanted it back.
- feeling “stuck”.I knew that I wasn't going out on auditions, & eventually I realized that the job I was in was not going to be the job that I was going to have forever (or even another year!). I knew I needed to make a change or risk making a “career” out of doing something that I rocked at, but hated (namely sales & customer service, since my experience & personality kept me steadily employed in those fields)
- growing up.At the age of age of almost-29, I knew that the one goal I had my whole life was no longer the “right” goal for me. My priorities had changed into “grown up” ones & I wanted to pave a new path based on them.
- refusing to compromise. I could have easily stayed with that job for, oh, as long as I could have taken it. Or, I could have left & gone to the next customer service/sales position. But that was unacceptable to me. I spent my whole life chasing a dream, trying to make a living doing something I loved — making a living not doing something I loved was not an option.
- being a self-starter. I know it's an extreme comparison, but changing careers is like being an addict. You have to acknowledge you have a problem & then you have to be the one to do something about it — nobody can fix your problem for you but you.
Where are you on your journey? Are you contemplating a new path, are you taking steps to get there, or do you know what you want but not how to get it? Reading this journal entry put me right back to that year of confusion & loss, & that's the reason that I became a creative career coach – to help those that are in that place. If only there was me when I needed me! Let me be me for you you can be published without charge. You can to republish this article in your website or blog. Please provide links Active.
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